Being Present – Improving Your Life With Mindfulness Practice

Whenever I start to talk about mindfulness practice with my clients, I tend get a lot of blank stares or resistance. Generally, I think people picture a Buddhist monk engaged in seated meditation for hours or weeks on end. Actually, mindfulness is a very simple practice that is easily integrated into our everyday lives. You can even do it while you’re washing dishes!

What is Mindfulness practice?

A great definition is provided by well-known researcher and founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness is paying attention on purpose in the moment without grasping onto judgment. That is, intentionally noticing present experience without labeling it as good or bad. Simple, yes. Easy, no.

It takes a lot of practice to pay attention to the moment. Our minds naturally wander. For instance, how often do you actually pay attention to the experience of washing the dishes or for that matter, playing with your children? Never? You wouldn’t be alone. We’re raised to multitask in our current day society. You wash dishes while going over your day, talking to your kids or partner, planning for tomorrow, etc. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to really experience washing the dishes. Feel the temperature of the water. Notice the smell and feel of the soap running over your hands. See the bubbles. Hear the sound of the running water or the clink of the dishes. What emotions arise? What thoughts come up?

Why bother with mindfulness practice?

The benefits are nearly endless. According to another well-known expert and author of numerous books including The Mindful Brain, Dan Siegel, M.D., research indicates that meditation or mindfulness practice has significant effects on the body, mind and even relationships. Dr. Herbert Benson, author of the Relaxation Response and president of the Mind/Body Institute at Harvard reports that scientific evidence shows that the relaxed state achieved through meditation can lower blood pressure, heart rate and respiration. It reduces anxiety, anger, hostility and depression. It alleviates insomnia, premenstrual syndrome, hot flashes and infertility. It has also been used successfully to treat individuals with chronic pain. It increases emotional balance and mental flexibility, which helps to overcome emotional pain, compulsions and addictions. It improves concentration and mental clarity. It enhances insight and empathy. It improves our intuitive ability and provides us with a heightened sense of connectedness to others and the world. Relationships improve when we are able to be more present with people and less caught up in fantasy, projection or negative emotions that get in the way of successful communication. Researchers have also found that meditators report increased life satisfaction and optimism. All that without a pill? Who wouldn’t want to try it?

How is Mindfulness Practice done?

Mindfulness is a state of mind rather than a specific activity. There are many paths to mindfulness. It is important to choose a method that works for you! In order for it to work it has to be enjoyable (or at least something you’re willing to practice). It has to fit into your schedule. It has to be something you can do. Don’t take an ashtanga vinyasa yoga class if you’re out of shape and have never taken a basic yoga class. Don’t sign up for a week long meditation retreat if you’ve never meditated five minutes. Start small.

Yoga, Tai chi, Chi Gong, and various forms of Meditation are wonderful options to begin to train your mind to pay attention. But, Mindfulness doesn’t have to be a formal practice. There are endless opportunities to practice mindfulness throughout your day. You can wash dishes, go for a walk, play with your kids, be with your partner, take a bath, eat a meal, etc. The point is to pay attention, notice when your mind wanders, and gently bring your attention back to the experience of the moment. It’s as simple as that.

How to Survive a Presentation When You Forget Your Speech

I had practiced my speech for two weeks straight, reciting it day in and day out, committing it to memory. A young, confident senior at the University of Southern California at the time, I knew my education had prepared me for this moment… or so I thought.

But then, as I stood on stage in a room full of 60 people, I struggled to remember the first line. It was like trying to swim in a pool of quicksand — the more I tried to remember the words the deeper I sunk. Eventually, I walked off stage without delivering my speech because I just couldn’t find the words. It was one of my most humiliating experiences as a presenter/speaker.

In that moment, I had forgotten one of the cardinal rules of communication and presentation: when you forget your speech, keep going!

The reality is that often no one realizes your mistake but you.

Where we get into trouble is when we bring attention to our mistake by saying things like, “Sorry, I forgot my place,” or stopping our presentation all together. Those actions not only make us self-conscious but they also give the audience anxiety.

This is why it’s dangerous to commit a speech to memory. We get so married to the words that we forget the most important part of our presentation is the overall message and the connection we’ve made with our audience. Like a missing piece of a train track, we can’t proceed unless the railroad is complete. However, if we treat our presentations like a guiding star then it won’t matter if we take a few side roads along the way, as long as we’re going in the right direction.

Here are some ways to survive (and prevent) goof-ups when giving a speech:

  1. Don’t commit your presentation to memory Some people advocate this, but I think it’s dangerous. For one, speakers who memorize feel very mechanic when they present because the written word is different from the spoken word. Second, following a written speech leaves no room for spontaneous connection and communication with your audience that can only happen when you’re present in the moment.
  2. Have a backup plan – If for some (rare) reason you must read your speech verbatim, remember to have the words close by. (I prefer a hardcopy as opposed to electronic. With hard copy you don’t run the risk of a computer or iPad failing on you.)
  3. Pause, ponder, and then proceed – Train yourself to pause whenever you lose your thought. Our natural reaction is to flounder and fill space with meaningless words. Remember that you haven’t failed if you forgot your place and often no knows it but you.
  4. Think about the end goal – If you get stuck, don’t harp on the minutia. Think about the totality of your presentation rather than the words you forgot. Where do you want your audience to be at the end of your talk? What do you want them to feel? Use this as your guide to getting back on track.

Making a Technical Presentation – Handle the Questions Professionally

You delivered your presentation to thunderous applause. You smiled in acknowledgement and with that smile still in place, you invite questions. Up shoots a hand followed by a booming voice, which asks: As wind turbines go, er, aah, can you tell me how a stator-rotor turbine cascade design can be used to more effectively extract energy from the flow?

Your smile freezes in place and you ask yourself who is this (you choose the word)? That was the whole crux of my presentation!

Here are some tips to help you handle the questions professionally.

1. In the scenario above, release your smile which by now has turned quite plastic. Resist the urge to be sarcastic (this is usually sooo hard for me!) and remember that someone once said: there’re no stupid questions only stupid answers. Now check out the tips below.

2. Anticipate questions and prepare for them. Rehearse your presentation before colleagues or friends and ask them for questions. This has the added benefit of allowing you to fill any pertinent gaps.

3. Clarify the question before you attempt to answer, repeating it in your own words if necessary. If you don’t know the answer, admit it, promise to find out and get back to the questioner and then find out and get back to the questioner.

4. Don’t be defensive. Have an attitude that communicates that you welcome questions and appreciate the opportunity to answer them. On your way home, in the car, with the windows rolled up and the doors locked…that’s another answer altogether!

5. Disarm loaded questions.They’re out there. Members of audiences whose sole purpose is to try to trip you up with a question based on false premises or baseless assumptions. Politely maintain your position. You may also ask the person to explain the question and share their information.

6. Divert irrelevant questions.These questions come from the sister of the brother at # 5 above. They are questions that are out of place and even if you know the answer, politely ask the person to explain how the question is relevant to the subject at hand.

7. Divide complex questions.These are the questions that may have three or more parts. Divide them up and answer each part individually. This helps you as well as the audience.

8. End the session by summarizing and thanking those who posed question.

So the next time you share some technical information with your audience, complete it by handling the Q & A session expertly. After all, you are the expert. Aren’t you?